Lent, which begins on Wednesday 5th March, is to be honest the one season in the church’s year that I have never really liked. Self-discipline, reflecting on the cost of love, on Jesus’ journey to the cross on Good Friday, our dour and sad thoughts – so, rather you than me.
And yet, I also know giving myself time to be honest with God and myself, stripping away, if only a little, the layers of protection I put in place to avoid looking at truth, is the way to a new and perhaps better life. There is, of course, the risk that a more honest appraisal of whom I am just leads to a sense of failure and regret. Existential atheism says ultimately we are alone in this and that’s a hard place to be honest about yourself – which is why I admire those who even try.
But the Lenten journey in Christianity is not a story of aloneness – we examine ourselves but in the light of God’s infinite love and forgiveness shown in human form in the person of Jesus. So, a Christian exploration of who we are is in the context of being valued and loved – and Lent can help us do that based on honesty rather than a fantasy of the people we are.
But that is not a cop out either. When I explore the limits of my love, my self-centredness and my failures and I see the infinite love of God made real in how Jesus lives, it is a bit like comparing murky grey with infinite light. One of the more uncomfortable sayings of Jesus is that in God’s kingdom all will be revealed which, unless you happen to be a saint, is quite a salutary thought!
That, of course, is the purpose of giving things up for Lent, or, even better, doing something positive for others. It is not to make us feel pleased with ourselves – that is the opposite of what Lent is about: but to help us acknowledge we need God’s love and forgiveness in our lives.
For the light, which uncovers all things hidden, is also a light of love. Lent is not, therefore an end in itself: but takes us to the great hope of Easter Day. If we take Lent seriously and have the courage to strip off a little of our defences, the story of Good Friday leading to Easter will mean we find not failure, but new life and hope.
I haven’t quoted RS Thomas for some time: but he has a beautiful poem which, as so often in my view, gets to the heart of the matter.
The Answer
Not darkness but twilight
In which even the best
Of minds must make its way
Now. And slowly the questions
Occur, vague but formidable
For all that. We pass our hands
Over their surface like blind
Men, feeling the mechanism
That will swing them aside. They
Yield, but only to re-form
As new problems; and one
Does not even do that
But towers immovable
Before us.
Is there no way
Other than thought of answering
Its challenge? There is an anticipation
Of it to the point of
Dying. There have been times
When, after long on my knees
In a cold chancel, a stone has rolled
From my mind, and I have looked
In and seen the old questions lie
Folded and in place
By themselves, like the piled
Graveclothes of love’s risen body.
Peter